It’s been obvious for centuries that men and women are different. We think different, we act different, we interpret different. However, I notice this is only magnified by our dear friend, social media. Sometimes these differences are exposed in amusing ways. Nowhere is this more apparent the feature known as the friend request. Basically, here is how the friend request exposes our differences. Please keep in mind that what I am saying here does not reflect the way ALL men or ALL women react, but a significant amount of them do.
MEN: If a woman accepts a man’s friend request, then the man thinks the woman wants to date or have sex with him. Consider it the modernized version of the old days when, if a woman so much as smiled at a man, he would think, “Yeah, she wants me.”
What about the other gender? How is their reaction different from men? Well, here’s the humorous thing.
WOMEN: If a woman gets a friend request, she assumes it is because the man wants her!
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sent a friend request to a woman who came up in my “suggested friends” search, and her response to the request was: “Do I know you?” Years ago, I never used to know what to say to that. I knew what the underlying message was. Simply put, it was, “We don’t know each other in real life, so I don’t know why you would friend request me. Maybe it’s because you thought I look pretty in my profile picture, but at any rate I’m afraid that if I approve it, you will stalk me or ask me for sex or send me dick pics, or all of the above.”
Personally, I’ve never understood the whole “fear of being stalked” thing. I mean, unless your home or work address is listed on your profile, how could anyone stalk you?
At any rate, as I said, I never knew how to answer this question…until recently. It just hit me: why not be honest? So that is what I am. I tell them they popped up in my “suggested friends,” so I looked at some of their posts and thought they seemed interesting. Sometimes I get an approval, sometimes I don’t, but you know what I DON’T get? I don’t ever get called a creep! LOL
Oddly enough, there is one feature about social media where men and women think the same: invites. Whether it’s to an event or a group, THIS feature proves we can be on the same page sometimes. Here is how it illustrates this.
MEN: If a woman invites a man to an event via a Facebook event page (like a concert or a cookout or party), then the man takes it as the woman is interested in him.
WOMEN: If you invite a woman to an event or group, then the woman thinks the man is interested in him.
I have a personal example of this. A long time ago, a friend of mine started a singles group on Facebook. He enlisted my help to invite members to the group, so I invited a female (we’ll call her D) from work. Next thing you know, I am getting angry messages that read like this.
D: “why the hell would you add me to this group? do you know I’m 10 years older than you, AND I’m dating someone? LOL just like a guy…say hi to them or talk to them for a bit, and they think they want you”
I said that I didn’t understand how an invitation to join a singles group meant I was interested in her, and that I was just trying to build membership for my friend’s group, but naturally it fell on deaf ears. She’d already decided what the invitation meant, and that was all she wrote. (On a side note, I find it interesting that she mentioned the age difference BEFORE she brought up that she was already dating someone.)
Our differences can be amusing sometimes, but they can also be annoying. They can be roadblocks to new and interesting friendships. If there’s a way around them, I haven’t found it yet.
And if I do, I bet it could make me a rich man!